When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name. ~William Wordsworth
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
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