The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown. ~Author Unknown
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
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