Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~Dorothy Fulheim
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name. ~William Wordsworth
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ~Jean Paul Richter
Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
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First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
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