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Youth is a wonderful thing.  What a crime to waste it on children.  ~George Bernard Shaw



Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.  ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990



Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament.  But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland




When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened.  It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.  ~Mark Twain




My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard.  Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass."  "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply.  "We're raising boys."  ~Harmon Killebrew



When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.  ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)




Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.  ~Truman Capote



You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience.  ~Author Unknown

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Never raise your hand to your kids.  It leaves your groin unprotected.  ~Red Buttons

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You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.  ~Ogden Nash
You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience.  ~Author Unknown
There is still no cure for the common birthday.  ~John Glenn

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Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.  ~Herbert Asquith