You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. ~Jennifer Yane
A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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