Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again. ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson
One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
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