I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. ~Jennifer Yane
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
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