Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. ~Author Unknown
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~Johann Schiller
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
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